Drowning
by blurd-vision
Summary: Nathan has a problem and it seperates him Haley. How far will he go before he finds help?
1. The magic of their love

**Disclaimer**: I do not own One Tree Hill

I am so sorry it took so long for an update I promise I'll be quicker next time.

**Sorry** Nate, Charli and anyone else who waited

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"What are you doing here?" Nathan yelled at his brother, now bent over Haley. He stared at Lucas, how dare he come marching into his home like that. "Get away from her!" he yelled as he stamped across the wood floor.

Lucas lightly shook Haley's body as he whispered her name. As her eyes numbly flickered open, Lucas felt the back of Nathan's hand against his head. Looking up into his brother's eyes, Lucas just shook his head smirking.

When Nathan bent down check on Haley, Lucas quickly pushed him away and pulled Haley to her feet. "Stay away from her Nathan." Lucas said in disgust before he walked away with Haley leaning on his shoulder. Nathan stood scowling at his brother.

"What was I supposed do?" he asked himself as he fell against the wall and began to slide down it. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't!" he yelled at the empty apartment as he threw the coffee mug, which was sitting beside him, across the room.

**O**

"Hey Nathan." Tim said as he jogged to catch up to his friend. "So you gonna be there tonight?" Tim waited anxiously for a response.

Nathan began to walk faster towards the school. "No."

Stopping dead in his tracks, Tim gripped the back of Nathan's jacket and whirled him around. "Why not?" Tim yelled, still holding his friend's jacket. "This is the biggest game of the season how could you not be there?"

"Tim let go of me." The young man slowly lost his grip as he stared at Nathan, who began to walk away again. "I'm quitting the team."

"Oh no you're not!" Tim argued as he followed Nathan like a lost dog. "Nathan come on we need you!"

Turning around to show Tim his anger and annoyance he said, "Tim would you shut up!" as he launched his fist into his friend's face.

Tim fell back, landing on the hard cement. He glared up at Nathan who continued to walk like nothing had happened.

**T**

In class, the teacher walked around to collect the students' assignments. When she came to Nathan's desk and found that there was nothing to be collected on his desk, she was unhappy.

"And where might your work be Mr. Scott?" she asked in her threatening deep voice. After several minutes without an answer, she tapped him lightly on the shoulder and she repeated her question.

"I didn't do it okay?" he said in almost a yell. "What does it matter?"

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His next class went the same way. Only this teacher was a little less understanding.

"What do you mean you didn't do it Nathan? You had two weeks to put this thing together!" the teacher yelled.

"I mean I didn't do it. I didn't know what to do so I didn't do it!" Nathan stared at the teacher who grimaced at him. Inside of himself, he couldn't understand why he was doing this. 'This isn't who I am.' Nathan told himself. 'What's going on?'

"Nathan if you plan on continuing to act like this you'd better get out of my classroom right now!"

"Fine!" The frustrated student yelled pushing his books to the ground and angrily stomping out of the class. When he got to the hallway, Nathan slouched down against the wall and rested his head in his arms.

'Why am I doing this?' Nathan wondered as he let tears fall down his cheeks. Nathan struggled to keep the whimper inside of him. All he could think of was how he had betrayed the girl he loved most. She had loved him and given him second chances and he blew it.

Nathan wanted to blame his father like he did for everything else that went wrong in his life. But he couldn't. 'It's all your fault!' the little demon on his left shoulder yelled at him.

"It's not my fault." Nathan said in return. "It's not. I didn't mean to hurt people. It was just supposed to be ONE night of fun. Just one!"

Looking to his left he found that the demon on his shoulder was no little red man, but a young brown haired man. Nathan wanted so badly to believe it was his father, but it was himself. It was like looking in a mirror.

Nathan began to swat at his shoulder trying to get it off. "That's not me! That's not who I am! It's not me!" He yelled to anyone who'd dare to listen. Tears began to stream down Nathan's face and without realizing he broke into a loud whimper.

"Nathan, what's wrong?" Mouth asked gently as he approached him.

Nathan looked up at the small guy. He looked so much stronger than Nathan felt at the moment. "What do you want Teeth?"

"It's Mouth… What's wrong?" he asked again sitting down beside Nathan.

Nathan looked over at Mouth, his eyes so watery he could barely see. "Everything…" he said desperately. Nathan was amazed at the concern Mouth showed. "I don't know what to do." he said, his voice trembling.

Mouth took Nathan's hand. "You can tell me Nathan. I won't tell anyone."

Nathan poured himself out to the little guy who just sat there listening with amazement. Mouth took Nathan into his arms as he fell forward. The big basketball player felt so fragile in Mouth's arms.

"What am I gonna do?" Nathan asked Mouth.

"Really, all you can do is stop. I can help you find a rehab place. And you've gotta tell Haley, she deserves to know." Mouth smiled as they both stood up. "The bell should ring soon."

Nathan nodded his head. "So, you're still into Brooke?" Nathan asked trying to change the topic. Mouth smiled and nodded. "You should go for her she'd be lucky to have you." Nathan smiled as the bell rang.

They both turned different directions, when Nathan stopped and yelled out for Mouth. When their eyes met Nathan loudly whispered, 'Thank you'.

**H**

Nathan met up with Haley in the cafeteria. He could sense the fear that he had put in her. As he stared into her eyes, Haley became impatient. "What is it Nathan?" she asked, fearful of what the answer might be.

Nathan took a deep breath then managed to utter half a sentence. "I need to…" he stopped. 'Well now you have to tell her.' He told himself. Sighing he started again. "I need to talk to you. Hale…" Nathan explained to her what had been going on lately, why he was acting so strange.

Haley just looked at him blankly. "Nathan how could you?" She said before turning away and disappearing into the large crowd.

"Haley wait…"

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So?

Please **Review!**

**O**

**Those who dance are considered insane by those who can not hear the music**

**-George Carlin**


	2. What could it hurt?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters or this show and at this point in time I have no will to own them or claim any sort of ownership. So I'm not a threat, get over it!  
  
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Nathan sped through the downpour of rain droplets to get to his car. "Damn it!" He yelled frustrated. Nathan leaned from side to side impatiently as he searched for his keys. He groaned as he found they weren't in either of his pants' pockets. Shoving his hand furiously into the pocket of his jacket, he felt relief fall over him as his hand wrapped around the cold metal key.  
  
Cursing himself for not looking there first, he opened the door and hopped into his car, shifted into reverse and sped out of his girlfriend's driveway.  
  
_**Meanwhile...**  
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"So what do you want to do tonight?" Lucas asked as he parked the car by the water. The young man smiled as he looked at his friend. She had been spending so much time with Nathan lately, that he had forgotten how much he liked just being with her.  
  
Haley stared out at the moon. It was partially blocked by the gray storm clouds that had invaded the night. "Look it's a shooting star." She said turning her head towards Lucas. "Make a wish." She whispered softly.  
  
Lucas watched it slowly travel the nocturnal sky. 'I wish...' he thought. 'I wish that my mom would come home safely from Italy.'  
  
(**A/N: **obviously, Karen is still in Italy for this one.)  
  
Haley leaned back against the seat so her head rested easily on the cushion. 'I wish... it would stop raining.' Haley smiled at Lucas and the he stuck his red tongue out at her. She giggled and jumped onto him. They both laughed as Lucas tickled Haley and she squirmed around.  
  
Haley sighed as she relaxed next to Lucas on the driver's side of the car. She was sitting near the window. "Let's stay here tonight." She said as she watched the storm clouds separate.  
  
The rain still fell onto the damp earth but it no longer down poured. "I think that's a good idea." Lucas said as he moved in to kiss Haley.  
  
_**At the party...  
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"Nathan!" The guys yelled as Nathan entered through the small doorway. The house seemed a little too small for a keg party, which is what he was told it would be. But when he got into the low roofed living room, he found no keg. The guys were all seated in a circle around a small metal coffee table with a crack through the center.  
  
The walls were covered with a fake wood giving the house a small cottagey feeling. The sofa and the matching chairs were all stained with blacks and reds, which Nathan hoped weren't blood.  
  
"You're late Nate!" Tim called from the rusty kitchen.  
  
One of the other guys, whom Nathan didn't know, echoed Tim's statement laughing, "Late Nate..." he chuckled again and Nathan stepped away moving towards Tim.  
  
"Yeah," Tim continued absentmindedly. "We already had something to drink."  
  
"But you're just on time for the best part." Yelled someone from the back of the room.  
  
Nathan looked around quizzically. "I think I might be going." He said taking a step towards the door.  
  
Tim linked his arm through Nathan's saying, "No, no, stay. It'll be fun"  
  
_**Meanwhile...**_  
  
"Lucas," Haley said as he reached up her shirt to unclip her bra. "I shouldn't be doing this." Haley sat up worried.  
  
"Don't worry, it'll be okay." He said grabbing her hand and enveloping it in his. "Nathan doesn't need to know, what could it hurt?" He put his arm around her knowing he shouldn't have been saying those words. There were like venom that had taken him over.  
  
"I'm sorry Hale, I shouldn't have. It's just... I like you so much but,"  
  
Haley cut him off. "But I love Nathan." Lucas' heart sank, he always knew that but it hurt to hear it spoken by her.  
  
His eyes traveled down to look at his hands. Then looking up into her eyes he promised, "I'll always be here if you need me. Don't forget."  
  
Haley smiled and brought his hand up to her face. "I won't." she promised in return.  
  
_**At the Party...**_  
  
Nathan sat down between a guy named Bert and Jake. "Do you know what's going on?" he asked Jake who seemed to be not all there.  
  
"No idea." He answered, lightly shaking his head.  
  
"And now the Grande Finale of tonight's gathering," began Drew, the guys who's house it was. "Tada!" He opened a small wooden box revealing a large amount of small joints.  
  
"Are you serious?" Nathan asked viciously with Jake at his side.  
  
"Yeah." Drew said obviously throwing his long blonde hair over his shoulder. "What you've never?" he asked skeptically as he watched Nathan and Jake's faces. "Well there's a first time for everything!" he added chuckling.  
  
"I'm leaving." Jake said raising from his seat.  
  
"Slow down." Tim said grabbing his arm and pulling him back down. "It's not gonna hurt you." he said from his seat on the side of the sofa.  
  
The other guys spent a while trying to convince the two to stay for "just a little puff". "Oh come on!" Bert yelled. "What could it hurt?"  
  
Jake shook his head disgustedly. "I'm going!" when Tim tried to pull him back down, Jake swung around and punched his teammate across the face, drawing blood from his left cheek.  
  
Tim fell onto the sofa spreading his blood across the brown cushion. 'Another stain.' Nathan thought to himself.  
  
"Are you coming?" Jake asked Nathan impatiently.  
  
"Um..." Nathan struggled. 'It's not a hard decision, LEAVE!' a voice in his head yelled. "I think I'm gonna stay for a bit."  
  
Jake shook his head. "Goodbye Nathan!" he yelled feeling betrayed. 'I'll go call my mom in Oakland, see how Jenny's doing with her and dad.' He thought as he walked through the rain.  
  
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**Please Review**, I'm expecting flames (my stories usually cause those) **Review** whether you're a flamer or not. I need help with this.  
  
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Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?

--Abraham Lincoln


	3. You're lying to me!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Tree Hill  
  
**A/N:** Thank you to my reviewer, Charli, I didn't think I'd ever get one! I thought no one was gonna read **&** review it. **Thanks!**  
  
Did Nathan have his own apartment when Karen was in Italy? Meh, he does now.  
  
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Nathan puffed away at a joint. He could feel the smoke surrounding him setting down a layer of carelessness over him. In his mind he could hear the yells of disapproval from his mother, his dad, his teachers and everyone who had told him not to smoke. All those voices screamed in his head, but only one stuck out, the most silent calm and disappointed of them all, Haley's voice.  
  
"How could you Nathan?" she asked, gently shaking her head with her arms crossed. "How could you?"  
  
Brushing her away Nathan took another drag at it. "Isn't it great Nate?" Drew asked with a couple other guys laughing at the rhyme.  
  
It wasn't funny, but Nathan laughed along feeling a vibe of acceptance between him and the other guys. Taking his newfound friend, then shooting out the leftovers, Nathan watched as colors began to mix in with sounds. Tim's deep laugh sounded like the crackling of a fire. Looking around Nathan was getting scared, the other people's faces were turning different colors and whenever they talked Nathan saw a strange red and green mist flowing from their mouths.  
  
"I gotta go." He said stumbling off his seat on a milk crate. Using the couch, Nathan pulled himself to standing position. Everything around him, began to spin slowly at first then getting faster and faster. Nathan gripped the couch as tightly as he could as he kept his eyes shut.  
  
"Nate, you okay?" Tim asked. Nathan shook his head and fell to the ground.  
  
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When he finally opened his eyes, everything had stopped turning. A small brown bird was pecking at the side of his face. "Where am I?" He asked rubbing the side of his head. "Tim?" he asked as he walked over to his friend, sprawled across the couch.  
  
Tim woke up with a startle as he stared at Nathan who was still shaking him. "Where are we?" Nathan asked still feeling disoriented.  
  
"At Drew's." Tim said obviously before setting his head back on the couch.  
  
"What day is it?" Nathan asked pulling his friend up to eye level.  
  
Tim sighed then looked down at his watch. "It's sat, Saturday. Now leave me alone, my face hurts. Jake throws a good punch."  
  
The scene from the other night came back to Nathan. They were convincing Jake to smoke, he got angry then eventually so much that he hit Tim. Nathan laughed a little remembering the look on Tim's face.  
  
"Yeah may be funny to you, but wait till you get 'im mad."  
  
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Nathan made his way through the bright weekend streets, finding his to his apartment. The sun shined extra bright that morning, and making it worse the light bounced off different parts of his car, blinding him every so often.  
  
When he finally got to his apartment, Nathan parked the car and took the elevator up. He leaned against the walls as he walked slowly down the hallway. Arriving at his door he leaned on the cold wood and struggled with they key.  
  
"Damn key..." he hissed at it. Finally the door was opened for him, from the other side. Nathan staggered into his apartment, crashing into Dan.  
  
"You left it open." Dan said answering the question Nathan wore on his tired face. "Where were you all night?" He asked getting angry.  
  
Thinking fast, Nathan argued, "I was here ALL night, I just went out for a walk. And what are you doing in my apartment anyway?"  
  
"That doesn't matter. You're lying to me! Haley called Deb asking if you were there because she couldn't reach you. Then Deb called me asking if you were there."  
  
Nathan rolled his at his father. "Fine, I crashed at Tim's place." He said lying. Dan walked around his son, shaking his head.  
  
"You know you're just pathetic. I can read your face like an open book and you smell like smoke." Nathan eyes looked away. "I know what you're doing, and if you don't stop I'll tell Haley too."  
  
Nathan laughed at him. He was being so immature; that couldn't threaten Nathan. But it was Haley, and she didn't need to know. Hell, Dan would probably just tell Haley to get Nathan angry.  
  
Nathan grimaced angrily at Dan. "Don't even think about telling her." He warned his father. Dan laughed at his son, who seemed to be growing more fury by the moment. Nathan walked in closer to his father, until their faces were only inches apart. Nathan drew back his fist and launched it with a great force. His punch landed just below Dan's right eye and the man stumbled back and wiped blood from his face.  
  
Dan eyed up his son maliciously. "You have no idea what you just got yourself into."  
  
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Please **review!**

TV is more interesting than people. If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms.

-- Alan Coren


	4. Stare me down

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Tree Hill

**I'm sorry it took so long.** Thanks for reading. Please **REVIEW!**

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Nathan stared into his father's eyes. They were dark brown like his own, but Dan's had something more. Something that Nathan, deep down, wished he had too. It was as if Dan's eyes were tougher and wiser and stronger. They didn't have the empty look that Nathan found in his own.

His father often spoke through his eyes. And at that moment Nathan saw the question that had tormented his childhood. The question that didn't ask for an answer but assumed it. Are you scared?

'I'm not scared.' Nathan told himself. 'I'm not!' But how could he lie to himself? How could he convince himself that he wasn't what he was? Nathan was scared. He was scared that Haley would hate him for this, that all hope of ever having a good relationship with his brother would be ruined because he broke that girl's heart. And that his life itself would be ruined because of that.

Nathan looked up into his Father's eyes that pierced through him like a needle diving into the human flesh. "What? Are you scared?" Dan asked with a confidant chuckle.

Nathan turned his back on his father. "Get away from me." He said disgustedly. Nathan stomped across the hardwood floor, open the door and stood in the doorway. "And stay AWAY from Haley." Taking his turn to pierce through Dan, Nathan glared at him for only seconds before slamming the door shut.

o

That night Nathan went back to Drew's place and continued what he had begun the night before. But somehow, everything was more relaxing than scary, as it had been the first night. Nathan began to find it pleasant to sit in Drew's dirty living room and take puffs at the beloved joints.

So he continued going, every night.

o

One day, a few weeks after the "incident" with his father, Nathan lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling, until there came a knocking at his door. "Come in!" he yelled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

Haley walked across Nathan's empty apartment, trying not to step on his clothing that was scattered across the floor. "Nathan?" she yelled out. Her voice echoed in the big room.

"I'm right here, baby." He said, approaching her and pulling her into his body. "What is it?" he asked.

Haley tried to pull away but Nathan gripped her sides and held her close to him. "Nathan!" she protested as he kissed her neck up and made his way down the strap of her black tank top. "Nathan!" His tongue ran its way over her left breast and through to the center of her chest.

"Nathan stop!" she yelled. Haley put her hands on his bare chest and pushed him back into the wall. Readjusting her shirt, Haley glared bitterly at Nathan.

"What's your problem?" he asked angrily. "I thought you liked that." Nathan approached her again this time gripping her wrist as tightly as he could.

Haley pulled on his arm with her free hand. "Let go of me. My God, Nathan, what's wrong with you?" she asked furiously as she dug her nails into his strong arm. Nathan let go, leaving Haley to back away.

"What the hell Haley?" he yelled as he drew back his hand and whipped it across the young woman's soft cheek. Watching her grab at her hurting face, Nathan began to apologize. "Haley, look, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm"

"Yes you did!" She cried painfully. Haley's glare was like his father's. Tough and harmful.

Nathan smirked at her. "You two are in on this together, aren't you? Together to make my life miserable! And to believe I was worried that you would hate me. Pfff..." Nathan turned away from her shaking his head. "To believe, I thought you liked me."

Haley grunted and marched around Nathan grabbing his shoulder. "Nathan! I came over here because you weren't at school today. I thought you were sick so I came to see how you were. And I don't think its me that's ruining our relationship." Haley stopped speaking abruptly when she saw the venomous look on Nathan's twisted face.

"What's that supposed to mean? Huh?!" Nathan stuck his face into Haley's and she began to back away.

Step by step she made it closer to the door, but she hadn't taken very many steps and she was still at the opposite side of the room. Nathan growled as the two glared at each other. Nathan let out a scream of impatience and once again whipped his hand across her face but this time, with more force sending her back.

Haley's head fell back and her foot stepped back onto Nathan's silk boxers and she slipped. Her whole body lifted off the ground before falling on the hard floor. Nathan bent down over the unconscious Haley with his spirit flaming with anger towards her and towards himself.

As Nathan kneeled on the floor, there came another knocking at the door. Nathan looked up to see the door open and the older Scott standing in the doorway.

Seeing Nathan over her like a hungry vulture, the young man yelled at his brother. "Get away from her!"

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So, whadaya think? 

**Review** and tell me.

o

The most incomprehensible thing about the earth is that it is at all comprehensible.

--Albert Einstein


	5. She can't be

Unscramble the letters to find out the secret sentence 

rscadmilie: I od tno now neO erTe ilHl

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Nathan stood blankly in the cafeteria watching the place where Haley disappeared in the crowd. People pushed by him like he wasn't there. The cafeteria was very loud, but the only thing Nathan could hear was Haley's voice. 'How could you Nathan?' echoed loudly through his mind.

"How could I?" he asked himself, feeling like he had just been tossed to the ground and crushed into the dirt. "I didn't mean to hurt her." He said as he walked through the swarm of students by the door. Nathan let his body get tossed around between people.

He hadn't felt that horrible, that rejected since he was little boy and he told his dad that he hit ball really far in baseball, but the guy from the other team caught it. All Dan said to his son was, 'That's not good enough.'

When he got out to the hallway, Nathan slid down the wall, rested his knees near his chest and buried his head under his crossed arms.

He sat there alone until the bell rang announcing the end of lunch. Nathan's day went slightly up hill from there. But it was a steep hill.

O

Lucas on the other hand was having a fine day. Him and Brooke were happy, his time with the basketball team was going well and there was a game they planned on winning that night. Between classes he thought he saw Haley but when he went to say hi she had already gone.

After school, there was practice for an hour then he could go home. When Lucas got home, he threw his stuff on the ground and went to search for Keith. They were supposed to go get Karen at the airport in less then an hour.

"Keith!" he yelled out to his uncle. "You ready to go pick up mom?" When he found his uncle, he saw that he was staring at the phone in his hand with a blank shocked look on his face.

"Keith?" he asked hurrying across the room. As he got closer, he saw tears rolling down his cheeks.

Keith looked up at Lucas. His eyes were glazed with shock and pain. "Lucas… we can't go pick up your mother. She's dead."

"What? No… no that's not true." Lucas felt to his knees arguing with himself. "No, she can't be. She isn't…"

Keith kneeled down putting his hand on Lucas' shoulder. "I'm sorry." Lucas looked up at him. "She's gone." The two men just looked at each other. Tears streamed down their faces as they searched for reasons to explain it.

Alas, there was no explaining it. She was gone and the fact loomed heavily within Keith and his nephew. She was gone. Together they felt their world crash down around them shedding pieces everywhere. Too many pieces to gather and put back together. Their lives were stopped at a fork in the road. Neither of which ways seemed easier or more promising. There was only darkness.

Lucas strained to open his eyes and bring his head up. He could feel the sadness that him and Keith mutually shared. Setting his glassy gaze on Keith, Lucas reached his hand to his uncle's shoulder.

"She's really gone…"

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I know it took a super, super, super long time but I hope you all enjoyed it and are pleased.

If for some reason you are not, voice your opinion and I'll see what I can do.

Okay, thank you for reading.

Please **Review**!

When you're down and feeling incompetent, remember this:

**Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the arch!**

**Ryan Demeres**


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